I Have A Disease That Lives Between My Ears; Speaks In My Voice; And Wants To Kill Me

Twenty or 30 years ago if you went for a walk in any major city, you would see people walking down the street talking to themselves. Most of these people were mentally ill and homeless. It was quite clear that if someone was talking to themselves, they were probably disturbed. Today, when you walk down the street in any major city, you will see scores of people who are talking to themselves. Yes, a few of them still suffer from mental illness. The majority of them are people talking on their cellphones with ear wires or a blue tooth. If we didn’t know any better, it would appear that large segments of the population had gone mad.
For those of us in AA, NA or AA those voices were real enough. While we where active in our addiction, we had a voice which attempted to totally deny how we were harming ourselves or others. It was the voice that told us to take another drink, or another snort. It was the voice that urged us to hit the Viennese table after we had already piled our plate high with sweets. It was the voice that told us we were worthless or weak. When we were in our addiction, we were no saner than that poor soul mumbling to himself or herself on the street.

Personal Reflection: What negative messages do my inner voices still tell me?