Acceptance Is Knowing The Past Will Never Get Better

In the 12 step rooms, one of the most oft repeated words is “acceptance”. In fact this word is a cornerstone of the program. For many a newcomer (and for some not so newcomers), this was a difficult concept to grasp. We felt that the only reason we had ended up in the rooms was because of the set of cards we had been dealt. “If I had grown up with a different set of parents, I wouldn’t be sitting here today”. “Had my friends been different when I was growing up I wouldn’t have started drinking as a teenager”. “If only my teachers had encouraged me more in school, I wouldn’t have made the choices I made”. As we gained some time in the program, we began to realize that we needed to accept our past choices. Bemoaning the past would not help us change the present or plan for the future. We couldn’t undo the past. What we could do was live our lives one day at a time; and sometimes one hour or one minute at a time. We certainly couldn’t change the past, but we could live fully in the present.

Personal Reflection: Have I fully accepted my past?