Upon entering the program we felt as if we have been given a second chance in life. Up until we entered the doors of AA, NA or OA our lives had been lived under the cloud of our drug of choice. Many of us had been this way for years and even decades. Over that time we had developed a certain persona. To tell you the truth it wasn’t a very pleasant one. Our lives were often filled with dishonesty, resentment, fear, negativity and guilt. We had lived with these feelings for so long that we came to believe that no other choices were available.
Sobriety opened up an entirely new pathway for us. It was actually a very broad pathway. At first, once we put down our drug of choice, we got ours toes wet and changed a few aspects of our behavior. Over time, we began to see that this road of sobriety was wide and long enough for us to change as much as we were willing to commit to. As we did so, we began to create a life for ourselves that we could never have imagined. We were able to shed many of those character defects and live a much happier and more positive life.
Personal Reflection: What changes still lie ahead for me?
When we we heard someone using words like “miracles” or “miraculous” many of us felt uncomfortable. We were of the school of thought that felt there was a logical explanation for almost everything that occurred in the universe. We had repeatedly heard about miracles which were later found to be explainable thru the laws of reason or science. Then perhaps one day while we were griping to someone about this miracle talk, an old timer interrupted our conversation and said, “how has your life changed since you entered the program”? Now that was something we could talk about. There had been so many changes for the better. Relationships had been reclaimed, finances had been restored, and health greatly improved. While we were active, in our wildest dreams we didn’t think that the type of life we were living was even in the realm of “possibility”. Yet now, thru the program we had fulfilled those supposedly unobtainable possibilities. We had even begun to look towards the future with an eye on uncovering a whole new set of possibilities. Upon consideration, our turning possibilities into reality really was miraculous.
Personal Reflection: How have my possibilities been miraculous?
There is a classic scene from a Woody Allen movie. In it Woody and his date are rapidly approaching a movie marquis. Woody abruptly stops and says, “it’s too late, the movie has already started”. His date says, “we’re only 5 minutes late”, and “didn’t you tell me that that you’ve seen this movie multiple times before?” To which Allen replies, “once the movie starts, it’s ruined for me”.
Many of us followed this line of thinking. If something negative occurred during our day, the rest of the day was ruined. If someone had offended us, we would walk around in righteous indignation about what had occurred. If we had made a mistake we walked around in judgement of ourselves for the rest of the day. Either way, the rest of the day was lost to us. Then one day we called our sponsor about what a miserable day we were having; to which he or she responded, “the day ain’t over yet”. Then it hit us. We had a choice over how we would inhabit the rest of the day. We could draw out every moment from it and make it count, or be in negativity.
Personal Reflection: Did you end the day for yourself already?