We’re Given Eyes To Judge And A Mouth Not To Talk About It

When I was a¬†newcomer I spoke with my sponsor about judgement. I was feeling very frustrated over my tendency to jump to judgement. I wondered when this defect of character would be lifted. I learned from my sponsor that there were certain defects of character that would always be with us. As long as we had eyes to see, judgements would always arise. There was however the possibility of growth even with this defect of character. When we found ourselves going into judgement we did not have to immediately share our opinion with the person who we were judging. If we started judging a postal employee who wasn’t working fast enough in our estimation, we could chose to say nothing. We could also chose to refrain from complaining to our friends and family about our post office experience. What we could do was to call our sponsor and talk about it. We could share our experience at a meeting. Writing in our journal gave us an opportunity to be reflective. Finally, engaging in prayer and meditation about the incident often revealed new insights. As a result of all of these steps, we often found that the frequency and intensity of our judgements decreased over time.

Personal Reflection: How do I respond when judgements arise?

Dirty Laundry

A man and his wife moved into their new home. Upon awakening in the morning, they looked out their living room window. They were distressed to see the dirtiest load of wash they had ever seen hanging on their neighbor’s clothes line. “Perhaps there is something wrong with her washing machine”, the wife said. The next morning they looked out their window and once again there was a new load of dirty, grimy clothes hanging. “I can’t stand it. It just looks so horrible”, the wife exclaimed. She looked at her husband and said, “maybe you should go and speak with her about her disgusting wash”. The husband shook his head and told her “no” because he felt uncomfortable about approaching the neighbor about it. The next morning, when they looked out their windows they saw a spotless load of wash hanging on the line. “Did you speak to our neighbor about the laundry”, asked the wife? “No” replied the husband. “I cleaned the windows in our living room”.

Personal Reflection: Have you cleaned your windows today?