WAt the end of many meetings you will see people exchanging phone numbers. Often, one of them has said something that the other identified with and they decided to stay in contact. Most of us have collected a large list of phone numbers over time.
That little Rolodex of numbers is a valuable tool for the alcoholic, drug or food addict. We have our “regulars” whom we call on a weekly basis just to touch base and talk about how our Program is going. We can also use the phone when we need to make a decision about something and want to get some feedback or advice. Often, we make a call when something is bothering us and need to talk about it and ventilate some of our feelings.
Almost all of us have the luxury and immediate access of a cellphone. Before the era of cellphones, program members were advised to carry around a pocket of loose change. Back then, a phone booth was our cellphone.
Sometimes of course we do make that call and it immediately goes to voicemail. We try another number and it’s busy. We finally reach someone but they can’t talk with us. We really need to dump our feelings or seek advice and no one is picking up. At that point we make a virtual phone call to the One who is always available and who always answers our call.
That conversation often relieves our upset about something. Frequently we even come up with an answer to a problem that has been dogging us.
Remember, you never need to spend money to chat with your Higher Power.
Personal Reflection: When was the last time I called my Higher Power?
AA (NA or OA) introduces you to a sponsor……
Many a beginner has protested against the idea of getting a sponsor. They think that once they have put down their drug of choice, everything else will fall into place. What that don’t understand is that it is precisely because of their thinking while active that they ended up in unhealthy and often dangerous situations. Once they humbled themselves and committed to speaking with a sponsor they discovered just how convoluted their thinking was.
The sponsor introduces you to the Steps……
As we began to speak with our sponsor, we realized that he or she was not giving us random advice or opinion. Almost immediately they began to take us through the Steps. We began to discover more and more about ourselves as part of the process. Our sponsor also reminded us that a personal inventory needed to assess our strengths as well as our character defects.
The Steps introduce you to God……
As we worked the Steps there was a recognition that we could not successfully navigate sobriety without assistance. In the past, we had relied on drugs, alcohol, food, people, places and things to assist us. In step 2 we finally surrendered and “came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”
God introduces you to yourself…..
Over time as we called our sponsor, worked the Steps and called upon our Higher Power something miraculous began to happen. We began to change. Long held resentments were dropped. Owed amends were made. We began to experience the hand of God more and more in our life. Our Higher Power began to reveal to us the possibility of the man or woman we were meant to be.
Personal Reflection: Is more work needed for me to come to know myself?
There are countless stories as to how people ended up on the doorstep of an AA meeting. Over and over again people have shared that they suddenly felt impelled to attend their first meeting. They might have gone years or even decades without nary a thought of AA. Even if the concept had entered their mind, it was quickly forgotten. Some of course had “tried” the program and had quickly dropped it. Yet here they were now sitting in a meeting and knowing in some deep way that the program was the solution to their problems.
Many of these people believe that their attending that particular meeting on that particular day was not a chance occurrence. Rather, it was a direct act of Divine Intervention.
This was all the more surprising because these same people had felt that G-d had given up on them a long time ago. In response, they had often also given up their belief in a Higher Power. Through the program of AA and it’s sister programs, they began to re establish a relationship with a Higher Power of their understanding. That relationship opened up many new vistas for their personal, emotional and spiritual growth.
Personal Reflection: How has My Higher Power been a part of my program of recovery?
Sometimes you walk out of a meeting in total amazement. When people tell their stories it is almost impossible to believe that the person sitting in front of you sharing a cup of coffee is the same one whose actions were just described. How could a person who had been sleeping on subway grates now be seated before you in a business suit? How could a person who had served time for armed robbery be the same one who is talking about emotional sobriety. Something must have occurred in the lives of these people to profoundly alter the course of their lives. Given their described history, willpower alone could not be the sole explanation.
In the cases mentioned above and in countless others the turning point was the discovery of a G-d of their understanding. When these people developed a conscious contact with a Higher Power their lives began to change. In addition, experience has shown that this conscious contact needs to be ongoing. As soon as we believe that we can go it alone so to speak, we are opening up a door to trouble. Before we know it, we will revert to our old ways of thinking and acting.
Personal Reflection: Do I need to revitalize my conscious contact?
At a meeting recently a person was having a good laugh with some of his friends. He said, “I guess if I walked around with my hands tied behind my back I wouldn’t have to worry about taking a drink”. The same principle could be applied to members in NA and OA as well. If only we had control over our hands we wouldn’t have a problem with alcohol, drugs or food. And therein lies the crux of the problem. Many of us had spent years attempting to control the use of our drug of choice. We had evolved countless strategies to deal with our addictive tendencies. Some of them were actually quite ingenious. Ultimately though all of them failed. We believe the reason behind this is actually quite profound. In our estimation, the ability to become truly sober goes beyond our own personal efforts. It was only with the help of our Higher Power that our obsession to use was lifted. This was the essence of step 2 where we “came to belief that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity”. This belief continues on a daily basis for our program of recovery. Without it, the only alternative would be to walk around with our hands tied behind our backs.
Personal Reflection: How do I apply Step 2 to my life?
People in the fellowship come in all religious and spiritual persuasions. There are many of us who identify with a particular religious group. Perhaps on the world stage there is conflict between different religions. In AA, NA and OA that is not the case. We couldn’t care less if you are Catholic, Jewish, Anglican or Sufi. What matters is that you have a desire to stop using your drug of choice. For those of us aligned to a particular theology, having a belief in a Higher Power is just an extension of our religious practice.
There are those in the program, who although not connected to a particular religion per se, are spiritual in nature. Their concept of G-d often does not fit into any particular religious ideology. They take comfort in having a G-d of their understanding in their lives. This freedom of choice allows them to have a connection to a power greater than themselves.
Even those who have no belief in G-d feel at home in the rooms. For them, it is often the power of fellowship which is considered a Higher Power.
The only person who will have difficulty with the program is the one who thinks they are G-d. Arrogance will feed many of our character defects and hold us back from true sobriety.
Personal Reflection: What is my relationship with my Higher Power?
At countless meetings people talk about the miracle of their sobriety. Many of them were under the influence of substances for years and sometimes decades. Almost all of them had repeatedly made attempts to put down their drug of choice. Usually these attempts had ended in relapse. Yet today there are millions of people in AA, NA and OA who are clean and sober. Many of these people will attest to the fact that they no longer have a desire, to drink, use or binge. How we account for this lifting of their obsession to use? If you query them, most will attribute this fact to their Higher Power. They will restate that often quoted phrase, “G-d is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves”. At their core, all 12 step programs rely on a deep connection to a Higher Power. We each have our own concept of that Higher Power. We believe a Higher Power is fundamental to recovery; even if it is the power of the group.
This level of belief helps us on a daily basis to cope with the challenges of life. If a Higher Power has helped us reach this far, we have confidence that He will have our backs regardless of what the future may hold.
Personal Reflection: Do I need to call upon my Higher Power today?