Low self esteem was an issue for many of us before we came into the program. Its roots often predated our drinking and drugging. These feelings of being less than caused us to make many life decisions that were not in our best interest. We ended up in relationships that were unhealthy and career choices which were often below our actual abilities. We turned to alcohol, drugs, food and other unhealthy activities to buffer all of those negative self images.
By immersing ourselves in the program, we began to peel away many of those negative feelings we had towards ourselves. In fact, in doing our 4th step we listed low self esteem as one of our character defects and asked G-d to remove this from us. Over time, as we grew in sobriety, many of those feelings of self loathing actually began to disappear. In fact, we really began to feel good about ourselves and our accomplishments in sobriety. Sometimes, we began to feel too good about ourselves. That’s when our sponsor had a conversation with us about being “right sized”. Healthy self esteem is all well and good. However, as soon as we started becoming arrogant, our spiritual and emotional growth declined. Continued progress would only take place when accompanied by humility.
Personal Reflection: Do I need to work on my humility?