For many years we masked and buffered our feelings through the use of alcohol, drugs and food. When we finally entered the rooms, those feelings came back in full force. For a long time we had pushed down our resentments, anger, fears, shame, guilt and whatever else came up for us. The pain of dealing with those feelings was too much. Now, in sobriety, as we felt those feelings, we still felt great discomfort. However, we also felt that it was a bit liberating. For the first time in our lives, instead of burying those feelings we began to honestly share them. In fact, our sponsor and others in the program encouraged us to be honest and to share what was on our mind. Not to do so could eventually lead to relapse.
After a particularly emotional share we might have felt proud of ourselves for being so raw and emotional and honest. After the meeting an old timer probably approached us and said, “great share, but in this meeting we refrain from profanity”. Over time, we discovered that most meetings in their opening statement asked members to refrain from profanity. We began to,learn that we could get in touch with our deepest feelings without resorting to profanity. It was possible as a sober person to speak about our feelings and upsets in a dignified and cultured way. That reflects true sobriety.
Personal Reflection: Is profanity part of my tool kit?