Before we came into the program we were very defensive people. We had to be. If we were to internalize what you said about us, we would have had to admit to all of our character defects and failings. We had spent a lifetime running away from those defects. Our drinking, drugging or eating had been utilized to bury all of those negative feelings. We were hardly going to acknowledge them just because your assessment was largely correct. As our lives became more complicated by our drug of choice, our wall of defense grew and thickened.
By the time we entered the program, we had created quite an armor of distrust around us. At first, we thought we had to maintain that protective shield at all times. As we gained more time, we saw that your suggestions were not to knock us down or find fault with us, but to help us grow in sobriety. Yes, sometimes you were tough on us. Over time we came to understand that it came from a place of love and not of judgement. As we began to let our guard down, we began to hear the message of the program more clearly. We became hopeful that we could finally begin to break through that wall we had been carrying around for so long.
Personal Reflection: Do I still have walls that need to be broken through?