It definitely hurts when someone wrongs us. Sometimes we don’t quite understand why it is necessary for us to forgive them. It’s not like we are going to seek them out and tell them we forgive them for their actions. If anything we are the aggrieved party. They should be the one coming to us and asking for forgiveness. What exactly is the point of our saying to ourselves that we forgive a particular person for a perceived wrong which was committed.
Forgiveness does have purpose. When we forgive someone, as long as it is sincere, we short circuit any resentments that we have. To an alcoholic or drug addict, resentments are like pouring gasoline on a fire. They are the springboard for the launch of all of our other character defects. The ultimate outcome of a resentment is a slip or a major dry drunk episode. When we are able to release those resentments, we help maintain physical, emotional and spiritual sobriety.
On those occasions when someone comes to us with an amends, in most instances we should immediately forgive them. The process of forgiveness helps us maintain our humility. It also gives us an opportunity to take a look at our part and where necessary make amends as well.
Personal Reflection: Do I need to work on being more forgiving?