The memories of our childhood are often not vey good ones. Many of us grew up in households where there was a lot of fighting taking place between our parents. It seemed like almost everything became an argument. As we lay in bed listening to our parents fight, we vowed that we would never be like them. Yet as adults we found ourselves often involved in volatile relationships. It seemed as if we were carrying on the legacy from our parents. Fueled by alcohol and drugs, even those of us who came from healthier homes, ended up in screaming matches while under the influence. We felt almost compelled to prove ourselves “right”.
In sobriety, we now understood that we do not have to engage in verbal sparring with others. It is certainly appropriate for us to disagree with others. It is not appropriate for us to convince anyone else that they are wrong. We had tried this in the past and discovered that it only created animosity. Winning arguments was not our job. When this was what we focused on, it was an empty victory at best. Over time we have learned to walk away from arguments. We are more interested in maintaining our serenity.
Personal Reflection: Do I get hooked into arguments?