Comparison can be a very dangerous thing. We look at someone and sigh to ourselves, “I wish I was that person. They seem so happy and well adjusted”. For many of us, looking at others from this perspective was a very old story. When we were growing up, we often came from very dysfunctional families. Perhaps one or both of our parents were alcoholics or addicts. Even if this wasn’t the case, many of our parents were rage-aholics, or troubled in other ways. As a result, there was often a lot of drama taking place in our homes. We often looked wistfully at some of our friends whose lives in our eyes resembled “Father Knows Best”. This view followed us into adulthood where we continued to see everyone as somehow more normal and better adjusted than us.
In recovery, we saw some of those so called “normal people” at our meetings. When they shared our mouths dropped. Those so called normal ones often told stories that made our hairs stand on end. It quickly became apparent that everyone had their bundle of pain. Some hid it better than others, but in the final analysis we were all on that journey called recovery.
Personal Reflection: Do I tend to romanticize about the “normal ones”?