Many of us viewed our addictive behavior as a victimless crime. We would often make statements such as, “I’m not hurting anyone because of my drinking or drugging or compulsive overeating”. This of course was far from the truth. As our disease progressed we began to meet disapproval of our behavior from spouses, family members, friends and employers. We were threatened with everything from divorce to arrest, to loss of employment. As a result, to “satisfy” everyone and get them off of our backs, we finally entered into a 12 step program. Initially, this worked for us. At least we had crossed the threshold of a 12 step room. Perhaps our family and friends finally left us alone. We quickly realized that entering the program for another was only a stop gap measure. We learned that the program had nothing to do with satisfying the desires of our loved ones to have us stop using. The program was a plan for daily living. It was a blueprint for personal transformation. Upon personal reflection we came to see that our actions had impacted the lives of others. Looking even more deeply, we realized that we had done great harm to ourselves. The program became a vehicle for us to heal ourselves and through doing so rebuild our relationships.
Personal Reflection: How have I healed in sobriety?