At first, it was difficult for us to synthesize what was being said to us by others in the program. When someone said to us, ” get off the pity pot”, we often responded in anger, hurt and confusion. “What do you mean get off the pity pot”, we exclaimed. If they had walked a mile in our shoes, they wouldn’t have spoken to us the way they did. If they had our spouse, our job, our friends, our children, our siblings, our problems, they would understand us a lot better.
As we progressed in the program, our understanding of self pity changed. We came to see that when we engaged in self pity, we were failing to take responsibility for our actions. We learned that it was a cop out to place the blame on others. The only way we could grow was through self examination and seeing our role in whatever challenges we were facing. Even when the other person was at fault, we had an opportunity to examine why their behavior pressed our buttons. We stopped making it all about them, and began to make it about us. Over time, self pity was replaced with personal responsibility.
Personal Reflection: Do I still fall into the trap of self pity?