In earlier days our sense of perception was distorted. It wasn’t because we had failed to visit the eye doctor recently. Our perception problem actually ran much deeper. It was not a problem that could be solved by a new set of glasses. We just saw, heard and felt everything in a peculiarly perverted way. Wherever we went we would often end up getting into fights over perceived slights. Sometimes we felt our manhood or femininity had been insulted. Perhaps we believed that our honesty was being brought into question. Someone might have said something which we believed questioned our intelligence. Frequently our pride was hurt. At times, although we would not end up in a dispute; we would silently seethe with resentment. After one of these events, it usually ended with our finding comfort in our drug of choice.
In the program we have come to accept that most of the time the hurts we thought we heard or felt were mostly of our own making. We have learned that when our button gets pushed, it’s often a character defect that predates our drug or alcohol usage. It is no longer acceptable to blame our poor behavior solely on that usage. We have a choice on whether or not we will respond to perceived insults. We are not victims of circumstance.
Personal Reflection: Do I need a new set of glasses?