There are a wide variety of meetings for 12 step members. Some are specifically designed to address particular issues. For example there is a recognition that some of the problems that men and women face are different due to their individual natures. Recently, at a men’s meeting a fellow was sharing about his father. He described an incident where he and his father attended the funeral for his uncle. His father had come from a large family and had already buried a number of siblings. As they lowered the coffin into the ground, everyone except the father was crying. The member turned to his dad and asked him why he wasn’t crying. He also pointed out that at previous funerals, the same thing had occurred. His father turned to him and said, “I can’t. I wasn’t brought up that way”. As the fellow at the meeting told the story, he began to cry about the stoicism of his father.
Many of us were brought up not to cry. We were told, “real men don’t cry”. We learned not to show our feelings and along the way discovered alcohol and drugs to aid us in this endeavor. We now know that G-d gave us the ability to cry for a reason. Real men do cry and real women do cry.
Personal Reflection: Am I able to show my feelings to others?