Recent scientific research has found that some of us are hard-wired to be more positive in outlook and some of us to be more negative. Regardless of wiring, while we were chasing after our drug of choice, negativity definitely fueled our addiction. It was very easy to encounter something during the day which threw us for a loop and cast a negative pale over us. We might then and there have said to ourselves, “a drink, or a drug, or my substance of choice will help wash these feelings away”. Sometimes we would let the feelings percolate for a while, or gather up additional perceived wrongs which stirred our negativity. Then we were primed for self medication with our substance.
In sobriety, we don’t rush to negativity as quickly or as frequently as we did in the past. As part of our step work we often identify negativity as a character defect. We begin to monitor ourselves for negativity. In particular, we begin to listen carefully to the words that we mutter under our breath, or the thoughts that race thru our mind. When we realize that our disease is asking us to come out and play, we get to a meeting, or call our sponsor.
Personal Reflection: How does your disease call you to come and play?